Getting Comfortable Physically and Mentally During Times of Unrest
I hope I am not alone in the ebb and flow of life's most unsettling feelings. Unrest and feeling unsettled is one of the most UNcomfortable feelings to me on the planet. I am a pretty type A person, who needs to have everything in order; everything must be done just so, and I do not relax until everything is checked off my list as completed. SO, when there is something left up in the air or unfinished, it makes my heart start to pound and my eyes start to twitch. UGH! This week has been one of those weeks, where the overwhelming blanket of unrest has settled over me.
In my All About Me post a few months back, I explained that I got to completely renovate and move into my grandparents house after my grandpa passed away. I have put my heart and soul into this little house, AND I seriously absolutely just adore it. YES, it's small and has no storage- BUT, it's charming, with character galore, AND most importantly, it reminds me of my grandparents who I miss so immensely. Aaron and I have lived here now for a couple of years and have greatly appreciated the opportunity to do so, because it has helped us save, save, save, because my grandparents had everything taken care of before passing. I used to come and eat lunch with my grandpa every Friday before he passed, and he would always point around and say in his heavy Greek accent, "This house- All of this, for you." At the time, I already owned a different home, and never imagined that one day I would actually be SAVED by this house (I seriously think my grandpa had the craziest sense and INTUITION that I'd need this house one day). Because in actuality, after my first marriage ended I had to sell my first home, and had nowhere to go, SO this little house became my safe haven from the storm brewing in my life. AND, in time this house became a happy home after I met Aaron, and it has been our first little nest together. So the thought of having to ever leave this house makes my heart hurt and feel very unsettled.
Aaron and I weren't planning on leaving this house quite yet- we wanted to possibly wait a year or two, in order to save a bit more and because I put so much work into this house- I wanted to enjoy it a bit more. BUT, alas, my aunt is wanting to sell the house (where the house is involved, the whole family is involved)...so here we are at a major crossroad in life, a major chapter of my life ending before I was really prepared for it to be over. Will I be ok without this house? OF COURSE. But, will I be sad? Doubly, OF COURSE. It's not the bricks that hold this house up that I will miss- it is everything that this house represents in my life that will be missed.
BUT I have to remind myself that usually when any major door closes in life, that's when a new one opens- AND, that new door will open to a BRAND, SPANKING NEW HOUSE! We have always said that when we were ready to leave our little casa, we would probably need to build a house (because I am SUPER picky about what I like, LOL)...SO, that's exactly the adventure we are embarking on as we speak. We didn't think this day would come so quickly, but BAM, here it is! We met with a builder yesterday, and we picked out a lot today! WOO! We are very excited at what the future holds, BUT also very nervous and a bit overwhelmed by all of the choices that we will have to make in the upcoming months. AND, that is why all of those feelings of unrest are sitting right in the pit of my stomach as of right now. It's a mix of happiness and excitement, along with a bit of nostalgia and sadness. I am hoping as we get a little further along in this process, my stomach and mind will start to settle a bit and just roll with the changes (YES, I have been listening to R.E.O. on repeat this weekend, HAH!)
If you have been following my blog, you know that this is NOT the first (and obviously NOT the last, I'm sure) time that I have had or will have unrest and major changes in life. I have lived through some pretty hard times (harder than this in fact), and proven to myself that I can be pretty BADASS in persevering through life's toughest moments...not that I want to continue to be tested like this, but HEY, we ALL are going to continue to have to go through life's highs and lows! My initial gut reaction to stress and unrest is to want to crawl into a hole and shut down- not eat, cry, walk around in my physical body even though I am mentally/emotionally not present, you know the rest because I am sure you have all felt the same way at some point or another. SOOO...how do I get myself out of this funk you might be wondering?!? Here are my top three secret weapons that I know will help me get to the other side.
- Surround myself with family and friends- This one is OBVIOUS! I would literally be a HOT MESS and melt into a puddle of yuck without my family and friends. I need to focus on how blessed I am to have these people in my life, and NOT focus on anything that I think is negative right now. The negative, unsettled feelings I have are only temporary- BUT family and friends that bring you happiness are FOREVER. I am SO lucky, friends! Can you guys relate? I HOPE SO!!
- Stay in routine- This one may sound funny to some of you, but I am EXTREMELY regimented in my daily routines. I have specific things that I do on every day of the week, and usually at certain times of the day. Some people kind of think I am a little crazy for being so scheduled, BUT by slotting time for all of the important activities in my life, I can assure myself that everything will get done-which in turn alleviates SO much of my stress. PLUS, it makes me a very disciplined person- I usually NEVER skip a workout because it's ALWAYS slotted in; I NEVER skip household chores because I have a specific time for it...and so on and so forth, you get the point! I highly recommend a routine for anybody who feels overwhelmed with tasks and stress! It just provides you with a sense of peace and finality for tasks at hand, and then you don't set yourself up to feel guilty when something doesn't get done. It feels realllllly good to know you will be able to check things off your list, instead of always adding to the list. OKKKK, I do have to say here (so you don't think I'm totally NUTS), that I do like to relax and can be flexible if need be, but on most days my schedule just helps me keep my sanity.
- Stop focusing on things that are out of my control- We are all guilty of this. We try to fix things or worry about things that are completely out of our control! I, of course, use meditation A LOT to help me refocus my mind, BUT when I am not meditating, I try to focus on things that I CAN control instead of the things I CANNOT. For example, I CAN control whether my bed is made or whether or not my report cards get finished for work...I CANNOT control what my aunt has decided to do with the house, so I have to let it go (cue ELSA!). When I focus on things I can control it makes me feel more comfortable in my skin again.
OK, so you know those moments I mentioned when you kind of want to crawl into a hole- those are also the times when I don't want to shower and get all dolled up because I have like ZERO energy. If you are not new to the blog, you know I LOVE to get dressed up, so it's totally out of character for me to say I don't have energy for that. So what do I wear to make myself feel better in these moments?? HELLO, my most comfortable clothing possible! My hopes are if I make myself feel physically comfortable, it might make me emotionally calmer too. I have realized that I don't need to sacrifice fashion for comfort during these stressful times either- I can have BOTH! Last night I had a friend's daughter's Bat Mitzvah to attend, AND I really did not want to wear a stiff, restrictive dress because I was already feeling like my mind was being restricted by stress...SO, I pulled out my MOST comfortable, BUT cutest, dress to wear instead! It felt good to be comfy and sit and relax with my friends- OH, and having a few cocktails helped as well! Check it out...
HEY, thanks for listening today, ladies! Just getting all of these thoughts off my chest has really helped. AND, if you are going through a time of transition, stress, and change yourself, I hope you find it comforting to know that you are NOT alone! Get it off your chest to someone who will listen to you. We ALL go through stuff like this, SO let's try to help each other out and encourage each other. Ladies, we are TOUGH! We are STRONG! We CAN do it! I will be ok, you will be ok, we all will be ok- we just have to believe in the process. The proverbial other side might not look the way we thought it would, but sometimes life has a way of shaking things up and changing things for the better, even though we weren't originally planning for it. We just have to roll with it! Have a great week, all!